There are times when a relationship reaches a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good. Can taking time apart from each other help your relationship or is taking a break simply a way to avoid certain issues that will still be there waiting for you when you get back together?

有人说时间是治愈一切情感伤痛的良药。而对于夫妻或恋人来说，时间却不是特效药，一定要遵照医嘱，这样才能在平凡生活中寻找到幸福感！ 有时候，当一段关系到达一定的程度，夫妻或恋人都会需要一些个人的空间，这时他们就会想要彼此分开一段时间。他们认为这样的方式能使两人的关系更加紧密。而分开一段时间真的能促进两人的关系吗？或者这种方式只是两个人为了逃避一些问题，而当他们再次相处时，问题却依然存在。

【随报随学】新概念1-3册体验课

孔程程 苏延奇 李延隆
课时：15

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First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix.
窍门一： 不要把“时间”当作特效药

Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.

每段夫妻或恋爱关系都有差异。所以，每对夫妻或恋人都应该了解，分开一段时间并不意味着两人关系得到巩固或问题得到解决。因为，问题会一直存在，无论是两人分开还是再次走在一起。因此，在确定分开一段时间之前，找对方聊聊是非常有必要的，这对两人关系也是有好处的。 许多夫妻或恋人会诚惶诚恐，当他们的伴侣提出需要独处一段时间。他们害怕对方不再爱他们了，或者不愿再回来。尽管，这段时间内你的伴侣会思考是否愿意继续这段关系，但你也没有必要害怕分手。因为，如果你的伴侣早就考虑好这个问题，分开也就无法回避免的了。

A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self.
分开一段时间是为了重新认识自我。

Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as 'one 'so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.

很多时候，每个人会在一段关系中发现迷失了自我，或者背负压力、满怀怨恨，而这并不是针对伴侣个人。在每段关系中，为了使彼此关系健康幸福地发展，双方需要为彼此生活中的差异而妥协。而面对妥协和改变，双方都必须要放弃自己坚持的那一部分。 这种情况时常发生，你们会发现自己完全失去了自我，彼此心力憔悴和心怀怨恨。这也并不是针对你个人。 只有当两个人合二为一时，彼此的关系才能如胶似漆的发展。这就需要你能暂时忽略自己，并重新发现自我，那么就需要与对方分开一段时间。请记住，作为个人，你首先必须是完整的，这样才能让你们的关系完整。而如果你觉得你需要寻找内心的自我，分开一段时间是最好的选择。

Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other.
放慢速度，充分了解彼此。

Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.

有些夫妻在开始一段关系时非常兴奋。所以，一切都发展得很快。而这样速度会让人产生压力和害怕的情绪。因此，分开一段时间也是不错的方式。因为分开一段时间能巩固两人的关系，两个人都能在这段时间充实自我，两个人都能为了保持健康的相处方式而付出努力和投入精力。即便你害怕分开一段时间会让你失去对方，那么你的害怕也是多余的，因为你们最终了会分开。这并不是因为时间使你们分开，而是你们之间或许存在不可弥补的问题，又可能是对方（或者你）想开始新的生活。因此，不要害怕你无法控制的事情。并且，你们彼此都需要与回归自我的内心去发现了解自我，这样才能使对方更加了解你。你们彼此了解越多，才能更好地理解彼此的存在地差异，只有这样建立起的关系才能使彼此幸福长久。


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